Apple iPhone
The new iPhone range was revealed earlier this morning. There are three new variants of the iPhone X - The iPhone XS , the iPhone XS Max and the iPhone XR. I've quickly realized the reason why the XS is called the XS - the XSive prices. For $NZ2799 you can have a top-of-the-line 512GB model with a screen that's big enough to extend out to the orbit of Pluto. And at that price, you could easily fund a manned space mission to it. It's a more painful rip-off than waxing. You could easily buy a decent gaming PC for that price, and then some.
And don't get me wrong, I love Apple. I own an iPhone 7 as well as a Samsung Galaxy S6. The iPhone 7 doesn't have the wireless charging, fast charging or the beautiful AMOLED screen of the S6. But it has a considerably more durable charging port and a notably longer battery life, nor is the battery faulty, for that matter. The battery life of the Samsung on the other hand lasts about as long as a sex-starved premature ejaculator at a burlesque show. Apple's customer service is exemplary, whereas Samsung's support squad came across as a bunch of underpaid, disinterested toss pots with all the charisma of a syphilis sore.
In addition to the iPhone 7 I also have an iPad Pro 9.7, and it is a wonderful device. Prior to that, I owned an iPad Air, which was also a wonderful device. It was better made than what I have now, but I was idiotic enough to invest in the 16GB version, which meant I could put two apps on it, and that was it. I've also looked at equivalent Android tablets and none of them quite compare to the iPad both hardware and software wise.
And despite the fact that I am quite fond of the Apple brand I'm neither fanatical nor stupid enough to camp outside an Apple authorized retailer in a moment of blind, slavish fervor for an electronic device that is by no means limited edition or is intended to be sold in limited quantities. If camping out for something good and worth waiting for is your thing, you'd best pitch tent outside your friendly cut-price knock shop and wait the night out in hopes they'll open the next morning for you to rock on in and book the next decent sheila who is neither past their prime nor whose pelvic region reeks as if she'd just come back from the fishmonger. But of course, for the sake of fairness, Apple isn't exactly alone in this practice, either. I remember seeing people camping outside Samsung outlets for the Note 7, a phone for which we all know, is best remembered for its most unique function - as an improvised explosive device.
Up until the monstrosity that is the iPhone X was released iPhones were for the most part stylish, practical, and relatively expensive. Since the iPhone X came out they're all for the most part ugly, impractical, and ridiculously expensive. The new range of phones have notably improved upon the hideous retrospective aesthetics of the X and its throwback chrome bezel. Yes, I realize it was the tenth anniversary of the release of the original iPhone, and it should be styled accordingly to reflect that fact, I get that. But it was an idea that was antithetical to the design philosophy laid out by Steve Jobs. Steve wanted designs that were stylish, simple to use and that were innovative. They were functional forms of art. The iPhone X was certainly functional, but it was by no means a form of art. Steve would never have approved of that chrome bezel, for starters. Retro design is something Apple never traditionally bought into, and nor should they ever. If Steve were here today, he would have thrown a chair at whoever dared to propose such heretical ideas. And that notch at the top? Yuck. Still, it could be worse, I guess. Try charging an Apple Pencil in the iPad charging port. You couldn't have done that in the Jobs era, because you would be quickly rendered unemployed and unemployable. You would also possibly be ostracized to the depths of the third world to live out a life among flies and ox dung.
And despite recently reaching the trillion dollar value mark, Apple is now complaining that its sales are slowing down. So in turn it jacks up the prices of its more premium devices to levels where people who can't think for themselves will snap them up anyway, even if it means mortgaging the house or selling the kids to the circus. But you can bet your balls they won't be the last manufacturer to offer their latest and greatest electronic offerings at prices that could otherwise buy you a bathroom in Auckland.
And don't get me wrong, I love Apple. I own an iPhone 7 as well as a Samsung Galaxy S6. The iPhone 7 doesn't have the wireless charging, fast charging or the beautiful AMOLED screen of the S6. But it has a considerably more durable charging port and a notably longer battery life, nor is the battery faulty, for that matter. The battery life of the Samsung on the other hand lasts about as long as a sex-starved premature ejaculator at a burlesque show. Apple's customer service is exemplary, whereas Samsung's support squad came across as a bunch of underpaid, disinterested toss pots with all the charisma of a syphilis sore.
In addition to the iPhone 7 I also have an iPad Pro 9.7, and it is a wonderful device. Prior to that, I owned an iPad Air, which was also a wonderful device. It was better made than what I have now, but I was idiotic enough to invest in the 16GB version, which meant I could put two apps on it, and that was it. I've also looked at equivalent Android tablets and none of them quite compare to the iPad both hardware and software wise.
And despite the fact that I am quite fond of the Apple brand I'm neither fanatical nor stupid enough to camp outside an Apple authorized retailer in a moment of blind, slavish fervor for an electronic device that is by no means limited edition or is intended to be sold in limited quantities. If camping out for something good and worth waiting for is your thing, you'd best pitch tent outside your friendly cut-price knock shop and wait the night out in hopes they'll open the next morning for you to rock on in and book the next decent sheila who is neither past their prime nor whose pelvic region reeks as if she'd just come back from the fishmonger. But of course, for the sake of fairness, Apple isn't exactly alone in this practice, either. I remember seeing people camping outside Samsung outlets for the Note 7, a phone for which we all know, is best remembered for its most unique function - as an improvised explosive device.
Up until the monstrosity that is the iPhone X was released iPhones were for the most part stylish, practical, and relatively expensive. Since the iPhone X came out they're all for the most part ugly, impractical, and ridiculously expensive. The new range of phones have notably improved upon the hideous retrospective aesthetics of the X and its throwback chrome bezel. Yes, I realize it was the tenth anniversary of the release of the original iPhone, and it should be styled accordingly to reflect that fact, I get that. But it was an idea that was antithetical to the design philosophy laid out by Steve Jobs. Steve wanted designs that were stylish, simple to use and that were innovative. They were functional forms of art. The iPhone X was certainly functional, but it was by no means a form of art. Steve would never have approved of that chrome bezel, for starters. Retro design is something Apple never traditionally bought into, and nor should they ever. If Steve were here today, he would have thrown a chair at whoever dared to propose such heretical ideas. And that notch at the top? Yuck. Still, it could be worse, I guess. Try charging an Apple Pencil in the iPad charging port. You couldn't have done that in the Jobs era, because you would be quickly rendered unemployed and unemployable. You would also possibly be ostracized to the depths of the third world to live out a life among flies and ox dung.
And despite recently reaching the trillion dollar value mark, Apple is now complaining that its sales are slowing down. So in turn it jacks up the prices of its more premium devices to levels where people who can't think for themselves will snap them up anyway, even if it means mortgaging the house or selling the kids to the circus. But you can bet your balls they won't be the last manufacturer to offer their latest and greatest electronic offerings at prices that could otherwise buy you a bathroom in Auckland.
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