Turning 30

The years immediately preceding 30 are often the ones fraught with anxiety, despair and chronological hypochondria.  As one approaches this relatively modest milestone, it is common for individuals to take upon an attitude toward life as if they are about to cark it, that their life is invariably over, and that now would be an opportunistic time to sign one’s will.  Strange how that the things that one should be concerned about when they’re 90 years old, incontinent and with the skeletal structure of paper mache, are of the utmost importance when one has barely started to get wrinkles around their eyes.

I turned the big three zero several weeks ago, and oddly enough it is a liberating experience.  All that fussing and fretting about how old you’ll be becomes quickly irrelevant in the great scheme of things as you suddenly find that the terms, ‘life is short’ and ‘life goes on’ become even more tangible in their meaning.  And you come to grips with them and subsequently don't care anymore.  And of course, your deluded beliefs that you are old and that senility is soon to set in are too thrown out the window.  And you carry on, content with the fact that, ultimately, 30 is just a number, that one day you’ll eventually die, and that those young whipper snappers called teenagers have little basis to criticize you for being supposedly old.  In fact, teenagers have little basis for saying a lot of things, such as that life sucks and is unfair, when of course, teens tend to justify their basis for criticizing life on account of the fact that they have pubic hair, even if what they consider to be pubic hair amounts to three forlorn strands of peach fuzz.

But in the end, look at it this way - turning 30 calls for an extra special celebration when it comes to birthdays, on account of the fact that your age has a zero in it.  Not quite the same as a 21st, but significant nonetheless.  And if that wasn't exciting enough, next year you can even have a dyslexic bar mitzvah.  And if you are still letting the elves in your head fill your mind with all those nasty lies and malicious fabrications, grow up.  You’re too old to be having imaginary friends, especially when they’re not really your friends.